The Norty Borderline

Check in with yourself using just two words. How are you doing today? Do it three times throughout the day, and use the space to illustrate your words to reflect the mood. Morning Motivated, Positive Midday Emotional, Blessed Evening Cranky, Pain  Isn't it amazing how by the end of your day, it can be turned around 180 degrees!! So this morning I was motivated and feeling really positive. By the end of today, I am cranky and in so much pain that I am almost about to lose my s**t! But I actually sat down and wrote in my journal for a few hours to try and get some of the frustrations out that I have and it actually felt good to write it all down. Cleansing in a way, I guess. I am trying to learn to write it down and once I have written it down, I am trying to learn to let it go. Yeah, just like Elsa sang! Ha-Ha! So maybe I need to write in there a bit more tonight, to try and get rid of some more frustrations.  I feel like I had a very productive day and now I am in...

Do you drink too much? What is the purpose of alcohol in your life? What amazing questions Kmart to ask the Norty Borderline! Ha-Ha! I'd like to say that Jack Daniels plays a pivotable part in my life. Ha-Ha! He's one of my best friends! Ha-Ha!  I do not drink every day and I am probably what is classed as a binge drinker. So I don't drink very often, but when I do I end up wiping myself out and there are many times where I am blacked out by the end of the night. That being said, I would have two big nights in one week maximum and even that is not normal, I can go months without drinking if I don't want to. I also don't drink a little amount and find that I can out drink most women and can keep up with the boys. My parents allowed me to drink from about 15 years old, as we grew up in a city and they didn't want me going to the nightclubs and not being able to handle my alcohol. Them doing that, has ended up being a very costly experience for me. It costs me more...

What makes your heart sing? There are a few things that make my heart sing.  Firstly, my family make my heart sing. Especially my daughter. She can drive me absolutely bat s**t crazy some days, but most days she makes my heart sing. Raising her is probably going to be my greatest achievement. Hearing her voice can brighten my day, even if she is being psychotic like her mother! Ha-Ha! She looks nothing like me (she is all her Daddy) but oh my lord is she me in personality. And I can tell you that sometimes that is a recipe for disaster. Ha-Ha! She has also been my reason why I am still here today.  My niece also makes my heart sing. She told me the most beautiful thing a few months ago. She has 6 aunties all up and I am her favourite!! Oh my heart was singing that day I can tell you!! I literally couldn't take the smile off my face all day!! She is a very sweet child, but she loves to spend time with Aunty and she tells me that she misses me all the time, so I know how much sh...

How easy is it for you to say no? For myself, I struggle to say to nearly every single person that I come across in my life. I guess you would call me a people pleaser, who also says what she thinks.  I think that the BPD may play a bit of a part in that though.  Ever since I was a little girl I was taught that I should try and help others when I possibly can, even if it means giving the person my last dollar. I can say that doing this has f**ked me up financially more times than I can count! And I truly have tried extremely hard to help every single person that has asked me for help. But lately I am starting to feel like I am just a sucker when it comes to particular people and helping them. It seems like the friendships are very one sided and I seem to be the one always doing the work.  I do know that I have to learn to start saying no, and I am slowly doing it. I am noticing that I am not hearing from particular people, because I am saying no and not jumping to their e...

How do you prepare for sleep? List five things you do to unwind at the end of the day. 1. Play games on my phone. It’s probably not a great way to unwind, but it does get me to slow down and actually sit. Being that I’m also OCD, I’m continually trying to clean or make things tidier. So when I finally do sit down with my phone and play games, it means I’m done for the night. 2. Have a cup of tea. I love English Breakfast tea. Don’t give me an earl grey. Eew!! HA-HA! Tea just relaxes me. Plus it’s apparently good for me. Winning!! Lol 3. Watch TV but normally disassociate at the same time. Lol got to love being a borderline. Lol I struggle to sit for long periods and watch TV, especially a movie. I usually have to pause a movie and come back to it 3 or 4 times as I just don’t have the attention span to watch a movie fully. 4. Have a bath. I love having baths, except I seem to always make them way too hot and it almost becomes a sauna for me. Lol I also enjoy to read in the bath as my mi...

  What keeps you awake at night? What do you regularly dream about? How would you rate the quality of your sleep? What three things can you do to improve it (if you need to)? What keeps me awake at night? I think that might be one of the silliest questions to ask someone with Borderline Personality Disorder... HA-HA! I am an overthinker and seem to do most of my 'overthinking' later at night. So I am lucky that I have explained this to my mental health team and I am on a medication that helps with my moods and I take it at night, so it sedates me. So I am going to sleep about an hour and a half after I take the medication and it sedates me enough that I fall asleep and don't think. I think the most that I think about is going to sleep. It has been a rather problematic symptom for me since I was in my teenage years, so I am glad that my mental health team are helping me with the symptoms I feel are the worst. And insomnia and overthinking just seem to overlap for me. I love ...

What's the best part of your morning routine? List five things you do first thing in the morning. 1. My cup of tea!! 2. Hope people are not going to be talking to me. HA-HA! 3. Have a cigarette with my cup of tea 4. Listen to the birds, while I have my cigarette and cup of tea.  5. Enjoy the sunshine if it is out. I think my favourite part of my morning routine is the cup of tea and cigarette. I get to pat my dogs and enjoy the sunshine at the same time. I know that I shouldn't be smoking, but oh well that is my choice. LOL I'm currently not working, so I am not in a rush most mornings, which I must say is quite nice, given my MH issues and the stress that it causes me. Do you have a morning routine? If so, what do you do in the mornings? I'd love to hear so we can see the differences. :) The Norty Borderline

What activities bring you joy? Which people bring you joy? What is hands down the most fun you've ever had? What's the most spontaneous thing you have ever done? I find that a lot of different activities bring me joy. The things that I enjoy most would be disassociating (I can't help that, I'm Borderline.. HA-HA! And who doesn't enjoy a good daydream?! HA-HA!). I like to read, but I find that because of my mental health issues, I really do struggle to sit down and read a book for any longer than about 5-10 minutes. I used to be able to read a lot better also when I didn't have a mobile phone. So I do think that technology has played a major part in that. It seems that I read a couple of pages and then my phone goes off with a notification and so then I look at my phone. I think that I need to start silencing my phone a bit more often and just checking it say every half an hour to an hour. What would you do if you were me? I love to do colour in, but I find that ...

This is the opening quote to the Kmart journal that I bought. So I thought I would do a blog on why keeping a journal can really help. Whether it be a blog that no one else see or a paper journal I personally feel that keeping a journal is great for ones mental health. Sometimes all you need to do is just get it out. And you may feel that there is absolutely no one that you could say the things you want to, so you put it in a journal. Hence, sometimes only paper will listen to you.  I have kept mainly journals over my life, but I always seem to end up not finishing the book or my life gets too busy and I forget about writing in it and then I find it 5 years later and have already started probably another 2! LOL I have started a new journal in the past month and would you believe that I actually think that I may actually finish the journal!! Wowsers! And I do think that it has been really quite therapeutic and good for my mental health and my relationships with friends etc. I found ...

In one of my previous blogs I mentioned a Kmart journal that I had bought myself. It has a great concept and the idea is to get to know yourself better, connect with your soul purpose and to live your best life. So it isn't a blank journal in which you can write in like a normal journal. This has thought provoking questions in which you can answer. You don't have to begin at the start of the journal, you can pick any question that you feel you can answer. I am going to include some photos of the journal so you can actually see what I am describing. I paid $9 AUD and I will say that I do think it is working for me and it is getting me to think about my life and the way in which I want to live it. So that all being said, I thought what I would do is actually pick some of the questions out of it and actually write my responses in a blog. So here goes. Your Inspirations What was the last great book you read (or movie you watched) and what did you learn from it? Is there a piece of ...