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Your Nights - Kmart Journal Entry

 What keeps you awake at night? What do you regularly dream about? How would you rate the quality of your sleep? What three things can you do to improve it (if you need to)?

What keeps me awake at night? I think that might be one of the silliest questions to ask someone with Borderline Personality Disorder... HA-HA! I am an overthinker and seem to do most of my 'overthinking' later at night. So I am lucky that I have explained this to my mental health team and I am on a medication that helps with my moods and I take it at night, so it sedates me. So I am going to sleep about an hour and a half after I take the medication and it sedates me enough that I fall asleep and don't think. I think the most that I think about is going to sleep. It has been a rather problematic symptom for me since I was in my teenage years, so I am glad that my mental health team are helping me with the symptoms I feel are the worst. And insomnia and overthinking just seem to overlap for me. I love the fact that I can take a couple of tablets and know that my brain will cease overthinking (like it does all day, every day) and that I will be asleep soundly within about 2 hours maximum. The wonders of new technology and drugs!

I don't really dream too much and most of the time when I do dream, I don't normally remember them. I don't like to dream too often, because I have had dreams that I feel are basically premonitions and they scare the absolute f**k out of me when they actually occur in real life. So that is another reason why I like to be sedated to go to sleep at night, because then I don't dream! Most of the premonitions that I have are of people that I love passing away and how, so I would rather not have those dreams. Has anyone else ever had this happen or am I just bat-s**t crazy?!

My quality of sleep is pretty good because yet again I am sedated. So I used to sleep massive amounts when I was on an anti-psychotic medication, sometimes up to 14 hours a day, because they affected me that badly. (I think that might be another blog post about the meds I have been on). So on average I get about 7 hours sleep. And after sleeping sometimes 12-14 hours a day every day for 8 years, I can tell you that 7 hours is perfectly fine by me. I feel well rested and it isn't so hard to wake up in the mornings. 

1. Go to bed a lot earlier

2. Not drink as much caffeine at night

3. Try and read a book more often than playing on my phone to wind down. 

How is your sleep? What things do you think I could do to improve my sleep and sleep routine? What things do you do to help you get to sleep quicker or get a restful sleep? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

The Norty Borderline


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