The Norty Borderline

Why is it that people get jealous? What causes us as humans to be jealous? I decided to look up the definition of jealousy and this is what dictionary.com states: noun, plural jeal·ous·ies for 4. jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself. mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.vigilance in maintaining or guarding something. a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood. I, myself know that I have been jealous before, but I am learning that I don't need to be jealous of anyone. Just because others are more well off than me, doesn't mean that they are actually more better off mentally or spiritually. You don't need money and all the expensive crap to be happy. You create your own happiness from within. Material objects will never make someone truly happy, so why be jealous of those that do have all those material objects. I would...

What a name of a blog post! 😂 Yet another blog post that I never even contemplated writing until the past few days. And yet here I am! LOL So I am not exactly large in any way shape or form. I am only 5'3" and I only weigh about 60 kilograms (132 pounds). So I think I am in the healthy weight category. I don't eat a great deal and over the past 2 years I have really tried to watch what I eat, because I did get quite large while I was on an anti-psychotic medication. So I have lost over 23 kilograms (50 pounds) and I have never used food as a comfort when I am depressed etc. I might eat a bar of chocolate to cheer myself up, but I only buy the small bars, not a whole block. I also have a lot of sensory issues when it comes to food, so I don't like a lot of textures, but I am trying to learn to push past them and try the food. Anyway where I am staying, my friend is what we would call 'large'. She is not morbidly obese, but she would be bordering on it. One of h...

I think that the reason so many people are drawn to this case may simply be because of how tragic the story actually is. How can a man take out his family like that? And to not show remorse. I do believe that there was something major going on, I just think that we will never know what truly happened. I honestly don't think that Chris will ever be fully honest about what happened that night. I do feel like he is protecting someone or something else, but no clue as to what. I feel so much for Shanann's family, I can't imagine the heartache they have to bear each day. Having had a brother that went to prison, I can understand why his family do contact him still and why. He will also be their son and brother/uncle and as a mother, our love is unconditional. He may have wiped out his entire family, but he will always be their loved one too. I think this case will have unanswered questions and there will always be these conspiracy theories regarding it. I literally have tried to...

When I decided to move interstate, I thought that I had planned really well and that everything would go rather smoothly. How wrong was I?! LOL Firstly Covid made it rather difficult as we had to do RATs and then also get a border pass etc. I had to organise my Dads because he was travelling up with us with a trailer with mine and my best friends stuff in it.  My best friend came back down for Christmas and was picking her eldest son up as well to bring back up here. So she was helping me pack up the house and get everything on the trailer with me, so that my Dad wasn't doing too much lifting. There was just a slight problem. He turned up Monday morning with the trailer and my best friend and I assumed that he would leave the trailer in my garage, so that we could pack it as we are still packing stuff. But nope! Not with my Dad! He wanted to pack the trailer right there and then and then put a tarp over the trailer and took the trailer back to his place! We were exhausted by the en...

I don't even know where to start.  It has been a very long few months that is for sure.  From moving interstate, to being a victim of DV, to pretty much being homeless and almost having a nervous breakdown in the process. But I feel like I am slowly coming out the other side and hopefully things will start to fall into place. I have also had some really amazing moments in the past few months too and I am trying to see the positives as hard as it is some days. So I decided to move interstate after a loved one completed his suicide almost a year ago and I was struggling staying in the town with so many reminders. I have been here for over 4 months now and I know that things have been really hard, but the weather has been amazing for my MH already.  I have also been able to be linked in with some amazing services and am slowly starting to get the help I need to get sorted.  My mental health has been pretty bad for almost a year now and that is since the death of my love...

So I thought I would start with a bit of an intro. At this present time, I do not want to expose who I am and would like to keep complete anonymonity. In the future, I may let everyone know who I am, but for now, I'm not comfortable with that.  I will also be using pseudonyms for any family, friends or people that I know, so as to try to keep complete anonymonity. I'm 41 and was diagnosed with BPD quite later on in life and it wasn't diagnosed until I was 32. I not only have BPD, but I have also been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia & trichotillomania.  Living with so many mental health issues can take its toll, but I consider myself quite strong in personality and try to recognize my symptoms or traits before they get severe. I have been on many different medications and finally feel like I am on one that is working and that I am not a 'zombie'. The medications that I have used are olanzapine, seroquel, fluvoxamine, mirtazapine, Prozac, v...